Mixed Emotions

I had to fill out a survey for somebody studying Psychology about foreign exchange students in Buenos Aires. It asked if I am proud of the country I am from and if I defend it when I am given the chance. Honestly, I am not proud and I do not defend it. I don't think there are many countries around the world that people are ashamed of, and I know I am not the only one. Of course there are people that love the United States and are proud to say they stand by it at all costs; I am not one of them. I am very grateful for everything my family has been given and the opportunities we partake in, most of which would have been impossible in Ukraine, but nonetheless the stereotypes of the US embarrass me...mostly because they are true. Going out to dinner with 6 NORTHamericans (people here get upset if we say we are from America, it is ALL America) and finishing a ridiculous amount of food and having the waiter come over and say, "wow you were all very hungry apparently" is humiliating. No sir, we were not hungry, this is just what we do, we chow down as if we do not know when our next meal will be. What's worse is that was not the first or last time we will hear that.

Even though I am not studying that much, I feel like I am learning so much everyday. So much more than I ever learn at home on a daily basis while sitting in class. At the University of Buenos Aires, learning is mostly independent. You go to class and listen to the teacher but you have readings that are overwhelming in amount and you just have to teach yourself the material. It makes CU look like a joke...which is great because I can go back with a greater feeling of self-assurance in my academics...if I ever get the motivation to study back.

I have been trying to figure out what makes people so different yet at the same time so alike...Everything.

I went to a futbol game here with my 15 year old host brother. River is his team and he loves them win or lose. It was such an interesting experience. The crowd stands with passion as they watch their team play. They yell profanities at the referees and clap when their team almost makes a goal. River was losing for a little while and then when they made a goal, the crowd went wild. Everyone, whether they know each other or not, jump together, hold hands, and sing. Two minutes later, River scored again. It was unbelievable how happy and excited the crowd was. Passion like that really cannot be found at a football game.

On the way to the game, he told me about government corruption, which I had no idea happened to such an extent here...though I should have expected. There really is no opposition here, but everyone legally has to vote. So you are forced to vote and that makes it look like a democracy to the rest of the world, yet there is nobody else to elect. And if there is, you are bribed or blackmailed to vote. For example, they will take away your passport until you vote. Nobody has anything good to say about the current president, they all detest her, yet nobody can do anything about and they all voted for her. Hmm.

At an international students meeting for UBA the students were talking about how unwelcoming the Porteños are. They greet you by kissing you on the cheek and consider themselves cariñosos (caring) but when it comes down to it, they are quite snobby. It has been a general consensus that if you are not from here, they really are not that interested in getting to know you. In other places, people are more welcoming to foreigners...

Marriage is going down the drain and becoming a thing of the past, especially here. Which got me thinking, if there is so much infidelity and divorce....why even try? I know that is pessimistic but here, its very popular for men well into their 30's to be going to the clubs and getting with the 20 year olds, its acceptable.

There are so many psychologists here and so many people studying psychology that they are considering stopping the diploma for a while. Why are there so many here, as well as in the US? I know that is my major and my interest, but what makes so many people think they can solve others problems? And what makes someone believe a stranger can solve their problems? Furthermore, who the hell decided that if a 4 year old boy can't sit still or is easily distracted he needs to be given medication? Since when is attention span such a problem that is one of the most medicated "problems" in the US? What if "problems" do not exist? What if it is normal to be unhappy after a loved one dies or when things just don't go your way? What if everything is really "normal" just derivatives of it? Yet we all want to be the same and take drugs to do so...

AND among all those realizations, I am having the time of my life. This place is so rich in culture and so different than anything I could ever experience in suburban-Caucasian Boulder. I love the friends I have made and the experiences I have had.

I miss you all at home and hope everything is well, that is all for now.
Peace and love.